How to Commemorate a Loved One
Trying to find the perfect words to articulate the impact that a loved one had on you and the world is arguably almost impossible. The purpose of an epitaph is to succinctly praise the virtues of a person who has passed away and to forever remind of the unbreakable bond shared with them. Ultimately, when creating a permanent tribute to a deceased loved one, there are several suggestions you can follow for choosing the perfect commemorative epitaph or quote.
#1 Stay Concise
When it comes to epitaphs, adopt a "less is more" viewpoint. This is your chance to drive home the humble and yet powerful essence of a loved one, not all of their life achievements. Choose text that drives home their most memorable trait or their overall legacy.
#2 Choose Timeless
Commemorating the life of a lost loved one is understandably an emotional process, but avoid epitaphs that are overly sentimental or reductive. The purpose of a memorial plaque is to permanently honor a person, so the text you choose should be classic and timeless--words that will resonate forever. It is often a good idea to wait roughly a year after the passing of a loved one to choose an epitaph in order to ensure that you have taken time to reflect and that you have chosen wisely.
#3 Consider Voice
Many epitaphs are written in first person (for example, Edna St. Vincent Millay's quote "Where he leads me I can safely go."); if choosing one in first person, consider whether the quote is written in line with the voice and tone of your loved one. Does it sound like a sentiment your loved one would say or believe? If so, it is likely a strong choice.
#4 Consider Audience
Who is the epitaph speaking to? The deceased loved one directly? Those left behind? A passerby? Is the quote more ruminative in general, for example, simply reflecting on the nature of love and life? Consider which option would mean the most to your loved one as well as where the plaque will be placed and who will view it most often.
#5 Respect Your Loved One's Beliefs
There are many beautiful verses from the Bible that work well as epitaphs; would choosing one honor the faith and values of your loved one? If not, however beautiful, do not choose one. Remember, also, that the goal is choosing an epitaph that best honors his or her sense of spirituality, not yours.
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